March 29, 2013 Posted by damian in NEWS

Damian Callinan is 'NOT' doing a show at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival - Get Your Tickets Now!!!

An autumn evening outside Melbourne Town Hall

Other Comedian: 'Have you done your show?'
Me: No
Other comedian: You on later?
Me: No
Other Comedian: Haven't you opened yet?
Me: No, I'm not doing a show
[awkward silence]
Other Comedian: I'd better keep flyering.
[Other Comedian walks away and stops to talk to another group of comedians also not really flyering]

I now realise that one of the driving motivations for doing a show is to avoid being asked why you are not doing a show. This line of questioning is not limited to other comedians: my family, friends, local cafe owners, my mower guy. Having done 13 of the last 15 festivals this is unfamiliar territory. Previously my excuse was that I was performing in productions interstate which was seen as an acceptable excuse however I was rarely called upon to use it because I was 'interstate'

The fact that I am in Melbourne whilst the festival is on but not doing a show seems to be confounding everyone. Someone even rang and complained to my former agent after unsuccessfully attempting to buy tickets to last years show.

It wouldn't be so bad if people just asked me, I replied no, and we moved on but ... .

Mower Guy: What's your comedy festival show about this year?
Me: I'm not doing a show.
Mower Guy: How come?
Me: I'm too busy
Mower Guy: Doing what? [glancing at my half eaten midday breakfast]
Me: Writing
Mower Guy: Writing what?
Me: Oh look it's early stages and ...
Mower Guy: A book?
Me: No
Mower Guy: Movie?
Me: Sort of ...
Mower Guy: What's it called?
Me: Doesn't have a name. I'm still ...
Mower Guy: When will it be out?
Me: Look it might never happen.
[awkward silence]
Mower Guy: Better get back to mowing
[walks to a group of other mower guys who are also not really mowing]

One evasive technique I have been trialling is ...

Local Cafe Owner: Are you doing a show in the ...
Me: No!
Local Cafe Owner: Why Not?
Me: To be honest door knocking for the Jehovah's is taking up way more time I than I thought.
[awkward silence]
Local Cafe Owner: I'd better get back to cafe owning

So if you bump into me over the next month and you ask me that question, and you will, be prepared for an awkward few minutes. In the mean time if you click on my gig guide you will see that I have a few guest spots lined up in other people's shows.


And if you facebook message me I will send you a list of recommended shows.

Click to share thisClick to share this